52/52 Challenge: The devil by my side

War sehr schlau von mir, hier nicht mehr die Nummer mit hinzuschreiben. xD
Also: Nr. 18. :)
Viel Spaß beim Lesen. :*

Wort: Teufel
Wörter: 1648

The devil by my side

 I just turned eighteen and the days kept passing by. A few days ago I graduated. But I didn't really have any plans for what's next or for my life in general. I didn't have any ideas, zero. There were a few things that I'm good at and I could imagine doing these things, but not my whole life. I wasn't sure about anything.

It wasn't bad, I think. It wasn't the best either, but it was okay, I guess. For me it was kind of okay. For my family it was definitely okay or rather they didn't care at all. Well, it was my life. A little help may have been nice, but my parents never helped me in any kind of way, not once in my life. So it wasn't something new for me. I lived like this my whole life. It would have been strange, if it suddenly changed and my parents suddenly cared for me and my life.

So I spend my days doing what I was doing. Specifically this meant watching a bit series and anime, reading a bit and sleeping a lot. I made up for the sleep I lost when I was still going to school and had to learn for tests.

At the beginning it was really nice to have so much time. I even thought of just staying like that and spending the rest of my life this way. Why not? I liked it. It was cool.

But it wasn't what I wanted. I didn't knew what I want and I feared that I never would.

One night I was lying awake in my bed. This happened often. When I wasn't eating, sleeping, watching something or meeting some of the few friends I had, I lay in bed and stared at the ceiling or, if I turned my head a bit, looked outside the window.

It was quiet this time, in the middle of the night. It was often quiet, at night and when I was lying in bed and just staring. I think it was quiet, because it was quiet inside of me. There was a certain emptiness inside me, a silence that didn't go away. It was there. Maybe it always had been and will forever be. Maybe there wasn't a place for me in this world. Maybe I didn't belong here. I was useless. With no plan, no goal, nothing to live for.

A cold breeze let me shiver. Hadn't I closed the window? I turned my head to the right side, where my window was, and winced as something toughed my left shoulder. I turned my head again, this time to the left side and almost screamed. I barely managed not fall out of my bed.

There was someone. There was someone lying behind me. Someone that wasn't there a second ago. He- It appeard out of nowhere. The figure was all black, from bottom to top. It was shaped like a person, a human. But it's shape wasn't solid. The blackness, of which it seemed to exist, was flowing. That by itself was scary enough, but the red glowing eyes in what I guess was his face where even scarier. Whatever this was, it wasn't a human.

I had stopped breathing and was lying completely still. It had his hand, finger or whatever it was taken away from my shoulder. Was this a dream?

“No, this isn't a dream.” It's sexless voice made the coldness that overtook my body even colder. I felt like I was turning into ice. I couldn't feel my hands and feets anymore. My whole body felt like ice. It was so cold, I wasn't even able to shiver. The only thing I could still do, was blink.

“Can I join your side, young friend?”, asked the red-eyed shadow.

“W-Why?” I was surprised that I could bring my mouth to move and make an understandable sound.

“Because I'm bored, just like you and I need something, someone I can fill and you're empty, aren't you?” It talked without moving anything. It didn't have a mouth or something that could function as his mouth. But it's voice came from his face, somehow. Or maybe that was just my imagination. Maybe all of this was just my imagination. Maybe I was going crazy.

“Yes, you are crazy. But that does not mean that I am not real. I am. So, do you accept me? Do you accept me to fill you, to let me live within your body?” The voice was smoothing and soft, seductive. I wasn't touched by the sound nor the words itself. I felt nothing and with that everything was said. The coldness was still there, making me unable to move, but I wasn't afraid, not the slightest.

“What do I get, if I say yes?”, I asked and suddenly I realized that I had felt the coldness all along. The silence inside me, my not existing plans, the emptiness – it had created this certain coldness. It was already a part of me. He was already a part of me.

“You'll get everything.” It smiled. It didn't have a mouth, but it smiled. I could feel it.

“Okay.” It came out as a whisper, almost impossible to hear. But I said it. I said it. And then it bent over me, one leg on my right and one on my left side, his face leaning close into mine. It was still smiling. I could almost see it in the movement of the shadow, of which it consisted. Right before the shadows touched my face, I even thought I could saw lips that were going to touch mine. Nothing like this happened, instead the shadow-figure fell into me. The human shape collapsed and the shadow sank into my body.

The coldness increased. It got colder and colder and colder. I was sure that I would freeze. But then a wave of heat rushed through me and I gasped for air. For a moment I lay completely still and listened to the sound of my heartbeat. It was steady and my breathing turned quickly back to normal too. Everything felt normal. It was as if nothing had happened. Maybe I really turned crazy.

Yes, you are crazy. But I'm real and I'm here, inside you. Thank you for sharing your body with me. As a favor, I'll give you everything you could ask for, spoke the sexless voice in my head. I breathed in and breathed out, my body felt relaxed, my mind too. I closed my eyes and for the first time in a while, maybe for the first time ever, I smiled.

When I woke up the next morning, the smile was still there and it seemed that it didn't want to disappear. It was good. It felt good. I felt good. I felt energetic. Instead of feeling empty and just doing something because I had to do something, I now really wanted to do something and not just watching something. No, I wanted to do something real.

I didn't knew exactly what I was going to do, but it didn't matter. I knew I would do something and so I did. I was aware that the reason why I was doing something, was this thing inside me. I knew it. It even whispered things to me from time to time. But it wasn't irritating, it was kind of nice. Finally I knew what to do.

On this first day I went into the city and met a pretty cool girl and for the first time in my life I knew what I could say to her, how I could get her into drinking a coffee with me. I even managed to get her into going into the cinema with me.

“It was a wonderful day. I'm still surprised that all of this happened today. I fell like we knew each other a long time before. Let's meet again in a few days.” She was smiling and her eyes where shining. I've never been this close to a girl before. I smiled in return and wanted to say: “Okay, I'll call you.”

No, said the sexless voice. Say: “I don't want this day to end. Do you like to come home with me?” I had no choice. It was like the voice was speaking through me. I couldn't resist. I could do nothing, except look at her surprised face that slowly turned into a smile again. For a second the light in her eyes was covered by a shadow. I blinked and it was gone, but I knew what I say. What was this thing doing?

I'm giving you, what you want. What you really want. The voice inside my head was smiling, a evil smile.

We went to my home and climbed the stairs to my room. It was cold inside. Everything was cold, terribly cold. She wrapped her arms around herself and I wanted to say that it was a stupid idea and that she should go, because I could see how uncomfortable she was feeling.

Instead I wrapped my arms around her body, turned towards me and kissed her. There was nothing nice about this kiss, it was a hard and brutal one. I wanted to stop. I wanted to push her away and scream at her that she should run. But I wasn't the owner of my body anymore. Inside my head I was screaming, but it had taken me over. It controlled me and my body and I couldn't do anything. I was completely helpless.

Naive, you may say, stupid, I thought, that I hadn't realised what it was until it took over my body, until it was too late. It was the devil. I had invited the devil to live inside my body.