Das Wort ist Freundschaft und die Anzahl der Wörter beträgt 718.
Ich hab mich an der englischen Sprache versucht, was wirklich geholfen hat. Aber wahrscheinlich sind da mehr als nur ein paar Fehler drin. Ich hoffe, man versteht es zumindest.
Eventuell lade ich die Geschichte später nochmal auf Deutsch hoch.
Strangers with memories
I
remember a time when I thought I would finally be happy. But there's
this thing about happiness – it vanishes really really fast. You
touch it for only one second and then it's gone and everything turn
black.
Maybe
I'm being dramatic. It's not that bad. My life isn't over. I'm not in
pain. I'm alive and I know there are people that love me. Still it
feels like my heart got ripped out of my chest.
I
don't blame them for anything. Why would I? They haven't done
anything wrong. It's just... we all move on and we all change? Yeah,
I think that explanation maybe could work. Actually it could be my
fault. I really don't know. If I'm doing something wrong, then I
don't know what it is and that means I can't really change anything
about it.
I'm
just sad and lonely and I wish things would be different. Maybe
things will be different after I've talked to her.
I
reach her door and press the doorbell. Seconds later she opens the
door and it's like always. We say 'Hello' and everything seems to be
just fine. Maybe everything is just fine and I'm just overreacting
like always. But then why am I feeling so horrible sometimes? Why am
I thinking about all of this so much? It could just be because she's
really important to me. There are a million options of explanation.
However,
I have to tell her what I'm feeling.
After
she brought me the things she had borrowed from me some time ago I
take a deep breath. Now or never.
“I
have to tell you something. I... feel like you don't care about our
friendship at all. I know you're busy and it's hard for you and all
that stuff and yeah, I also know it's somehow part of your character
and I really don't want you to feel bad or anything. I just want you
to know. Because I don't want to lose you and if that's what this all
is about, it would be better if you tell me right away.”
As my
little speech is over silence grows between us and I feel my heart
beating heavily in my chest. It almost hurts. But I meant what I
said. It's better to know the truth then to be unknowing. That's what
my experiences have taught me.
Finally
she speaks: “It's not as if I don't want to be friends with you
anymore. But maybe you should look for someone else too. I won't be
here forever. You have to take care of yourself.”
'Look
for someone else? Do you have any idea how hard that is for me? I'm
trying, you know! I'm trying! I've always tried so hard. But you know
what? It doesn't work! None of this is working. And I don't even know
what the problem is! Can you tell me? What's the problem? What is
wrong with me?' I feel like crying with these unspoken words in my
head. Maybe I should yell them out at her. Maybe that would be the
best. Maybe then she will finally understand.
But
all I say is: “Okay.” That's all. I look at her, about to turn
around and walk away. “Then I'm going now. Bye.” I'm still
holding my tears back and I hope she sees the pain in my eyes. But
even if she does, there's nothing she would do. What should she do?
Run after me and hug me? Yeah, that would be really nice. But she
won't. She's not the type doing things like that and I'm not the type
saying things like: 'I'm already taking care of myself, if you
haven't noticed. I've been taking care of myself for a really long
time now and I don't think I'm bad at it, but I still need a friend
from time to time and I would be so so glad when that friend would be
you. But it looks like you do not care about me at all. So it doesn't
matter how I feel, right?'
I
would never say something like that. I can't. Even if I maybe should
say it, I can't. Maybe someday I will be able to. Someday...
Until
then we'll become strangers with memories.
Keine Kommentare:
Kommentar veröffentlichen